Tag Archives: christmas

Tight Knit

Mommy and son knitting at the library

Mommy and son knitting at the library

I taught my 6 year old son to knit today.  He is home on Winter Break from school and was bouncing off the walls.  I was trying to tune out the kids fighting, running, yelling, and generally being kids so I plopped on the couch with a new knitting project and tried to focus.  Within minutes, “my overly active, never sit still, can make any furniture a trampoline” son sat down next to me and asked me to teach him.  I was reluctant at first.  There was no way he could do this without getting frustrated and waving my knitting needles wildly.  This was going to end in another trip to the Emergency Department.  Besides, I was not going to let him practice on my very expensive fancy yarn that we got on our “date weekend” to New Orleans a few months ago (http://www.pagewoodfarm.com/flora-fina.htm). But, he insisted.  So, I had to find him a set of needles (they were in the computer desk, of course) and some spare yarn (skeins of yarn for hundreds of unfinished or more likely never started projects are stashed in every drawer and every closet around here).  I did not think he would have the patience to wait for me to gather what we needed and cast on enough stitches to start a scarf and then wait for me to be able to show him what to do.

I was WRONG.  He not only waited patiently, he watched over my shoulder as I carefully cast on 20 stitches and then knitted the first 2 rows.  When I tried to sit behind him and take the needles in both of our hands, but he said “I got it, Mom. I watched you”.  (Really?  It took me weeks to get the hang of knitting.)   I knew he was capable of focusing on something he is excited about (usually a new toy or a superhero movie that I have finally agreed to let him watch).  I also  knew he was good at spatial relations (like his father, the architect) and figuring out complicated diagrams (like Legos).  What I did not expect was that he would make mistakes (only a few) and ask for help without getting frustrated and that he would stick with it most of the day.  He even asked to take it to the library and sat with me knitting while the girls picked out books.

An added benefit was that as he was knitting, he was talking to me.  He rarely talks to me.  I mean he asks for food, and snuggles occasionally and refuses to go to bed and tattles on his sisters and says he loves me (usually when he wants something).  But, he doesn’t talk to me about anything important very often and if I try to initiate a conversation he gets embarrassed or too silly to talk.  The knitting changed all of that in a way that even the focus of building Legos cannot.  Today, I heard all about the kids at school, his teacher and her dog.  I heard about his favorite songs from music class. I heard about his fears that his friends might tease him for learning to knit because “they do not know how fun it is and they might think it is only for girls ” (not sure how this could be my kid).  I heard about his future dreams “he wants to live at home forever” (ugh!).  I also heard about how he thinks about people who are homeless a lot and wants to donate his warm scarf once it is finished.

The other thing I heard that I have not heard in a while is a calm, silent, focused, happy boy.

Holiday Stress

menorahLots of people post about holiday stress.  They list all the things you can do to make a picture perfect Martha Stewart holiday for your family without going broke, getting divorced or killing your alcoholic famly members.  I do not have that kind of stress during the holidays.  I have a wonderful husband, a happy extended family (although some would say we are crazy) and I gave up having a perfectly decorated home long ago. Lots of blogs talk about the meaning of the holidays and how to avoid fighting over toys at the big box stores and how to get free shipping.  I have yet to read a blog about my kind of holiday stress.

My stress comes from celebrating Jewish holidays in a Christian dominated country. Channukah is a relatively unimportant holiday in Judaism, but the differences are really highlighted during this time of the year.   It is not just the Christmas music piped throughout the stores beginning shortly after Halloween.  I know all the harmonies to all the Christmas carols and I love to sing along. It is not the beautiful lights and decorations on the houses or the streetlights.  Although it is hard to explain to my kids why we do not have a Christmas tree or lighted snowmen covering our front yard. It is not having a Catholic husband who has all but given up his traditions to honor mine. I try to encourage him to incorporate his traditions with the ones we have created in our home.  It is not just having to proudly display all the Santa and Christmas tree coloring projects from my kids’s classrooms (this year they did do a menorah!).

My stress is less about the details and more about the big picture.  It is about being tolerated, but not having the support that people who celebrate Christmas have come to expect.  The world does not stop for my holiday.    I am expected to cook, decorate, and celebrate without having time off from work or the kids home from school.  Homework is due, projects have deadlines and classes activities continue.  So, my stress is more about struggling to get homework done, put a holiday meal on the table, light the menorah, give out gifts on a school night and then shuffle the kids to bed on time (oh and take a quick trip to the Emergency room for good measure last night).  There is little time to enjoy the holiday and the kids feel robbed of time to play with their brand new toys.  I would love a holiday season that was less rushed and had less stress where we could all just be together and relax and my kids could learn my traditions peacefully.